Mental illness can affect nearly every part of a person’s life. It can influence energy levels, sleep, eating habits, communication, and how we show up for others. Depression in particular can make someone feel broken or like a burden, even when that’s far from the truth. With symptoms like apathy, fatigue, and hopelessness, it’s no wonder that many relationships feel the strain.
If you’re struggling with depression or another mental illness, or if someone close to you is, you might be wondering how to maintain healthy, meaningful relationships. While there’s no perfect path, there are clear steps and strategies that can help.
Mental illness shows up differently in everyone. It often influences how we see ourselves and how we relate to others. Depression can drain your energy, cloud your thinking, and take the joy out of things you used to love. It can also convince you that you’re unworthy of love or that you will ruin anything good that comes your way. These thoughts are painful, isolating, and untrue.
Common symptoms of depression include persistent sadness, irritability, emotional numbness, low motivation, and intense fatigue. These symptoms can make it hard to engage in conversations, attend social events, or express affection. Even wanting support can feel like too much effort.
When you’re struggling mentally, the last thing you may feel like doing is reaching out. That’s often when you need connection the most. Strong social relationships are proven to reduce the risk and severity of depression. Having someone to talk to or simply sit with can be a lifeline during tough times.
Even when communication is hard, knowing someone is there helps. Supportive friends and family can encourage you, help with daily tasks, or just remind you that you’re not alone. For those suffering, interaction may feel daunting, but connection remains crucial for healing.
Mental illness introduces stress into relationships in subtle and not-so-subtle ways. It may limit your capacity to communicate, express gratitude, or meet your loved ones’ emotional needs. You might pull away from friends or cancel plans without notice. You might even feel guilty for needing space or not being able to show up as your full self.
All of this can make relationships feel unstable or distant. Loved ones may misinterpret withdrawal or silence as indifference. In reality, you are just trying to cope. This is why addressing mental health within the context of relationships is so important. It helps both sides understand what is really going on.
Honest and open communication is one of the most important tools you have. Share what you're feeling in real time if possible. Let others know how their actions are affecting you. For example, you might say, “I’m feeling overwhelmed right now and need some quiet,” or “I appreciate you checking in. I just don’t have the energy to talk much today.”
Clarify when you’re going through a depressive episode and what support looks like for you. It’s also helpful to reassure others that your silence or short responses are not personal. When your loved ones understand what you’re going through, they are better able to support you without feeling shut out.
Boundaries are healthy. They help protect your energy and prevent burnout. Communicate what you need clearly, whether that’s alone time, avoiding certain topics, or turning down a social invitation. You might say, “I’m not up for a big group gathering, but I’d love to catch up one-on-one next week.”
Also, respect others’ boundaries in return. This mutual understanding helps build trust and keeps the relationship from becoming strained or one-sided.
When loved ones say, “Let me know how I can help,” they often mean it but may not know where to begin. Offering clear ways they can support you takes the guesswork out of their good intentions.
Examples might include:
“Could you handle dinner tonight?”
“Would you be okay checking in on me midweek?”
“I don’t need advice right now. I just need someone to listen.”
Also let people know what is not helpful. Maybe unsolicited advice or excessive positivity feels dismissive. Redirecting those efforts with kindness can help your support system adapt and grow with you.
Mental illness is hard enough without added self-judgment. Celebrate small wins, like making a phone call or taking a walk. Use positive affirmations to counter the negative voice that often accompanies depression.
Remind yourself:
“I’m doing my best today, and that’s enough.”
“My worth isn’t based on how much I can give to others.”
“It’s okay to need support.”
Being kind to yourself helps reinforce your ability to build and maintain relationships, even when your energy is low.
If someone you care about is experiencing mental illness, your presence matters more than you realize. You don’t need to fix anything. Simply being available and compassionate is often enough.
Offer your support gently and without pressure. Avoid overwhelming them with too many questions or expectations. Instead, say things like:
“No pressure to talk. I’m just thinking of you.”
“I’m here when you’re ready.”
“Want me to come by and sit with you for a bit?”
Respect their space and be patient with delayed responses. Just as they need to respect their own limits, so do you. Supporting someone else’s mental health does not mean neglecting your own.
Talking openly about mental health with your friend can also strengthen your connection. It invites understanding, reduces stigma, and makes it easier to spot early signs of struggle in the future.
While relationships and communication play a key role in mental health, physical wellbeing matters too. Therapy, medication, and lifestyle changes can all work together to support healing.
Supplements like vitamin D (sometimes called “sunshine in a pill”) and magnesium have been shown to help with mood, energy, and sleep. These are all important factors in depression management. However, supplements are not magic fixes and should always be discussed with a doctor.
Adding regular movement, balanced meals, and quality rest to your routine can also support emotional resilience. Even small steps can make a meaningful difference.
Living with mental illness does not mean your relationships are doomed to suffer. With effort, understanding, and the right tools, relationships can remain strong. In some cases, they can even grow stronger during hard times.
Be honest about what you are feeling. Set boundaries that protect your peace. Accept help when it is offered. Be kind to yourself and others. Whether you are taking your “sunshine pill,” making a therapy appointment, or just showing up as your imperfect self, you are taking important steps toward healing.
The people who truly care about you want to see you well. They want to walk alongside you in the journey. Together, you can push the clouds of depression back and make space for connection, even in the darkest of seasons.
Anglin, R. E. S., Samaan, Z., Walter, S. D., & McDonald, S. D. (2013). Vitamin D deficiency and depression in adults: systematic review and meta-analysis. British Journal of Psychiatry, 202(2), 100–107. https://doi.org/10.1192/bjp.bp.111.106666
Hogenboom, M., & Taan, G. (2024, June 1). Can this mineral help reduce anxiety?. BBC News. https://www.bbc.com/reel/video/p0j0yff3/can-this-mineral-help-reduce-anxiety-