Take the Time to Care for Yourself

  • Barbara Eruo


This past weekend, my friend randomly facetime called me on the way back home to check in and talk for a bit. We talked about some new things that had popped up in our lives, and our conversation just flowed wherever it wanted. About half an hour into the conversation, we somehow got onto the topic of self-care. Body massages, exercise routines and boxing, healthier food choices, and other ideas came into play.

And this made me pause for a bit because 1) it was about wellness  something I love thinking about and 2) my friend was a guy talking about self-care.

The second reason made me pause because I don’t often hear men actually putting into words what they do for self-care. Maybe this isn’t that surprising, considering that the now-popular movement seems targeted towards the female audience.

As another blogger put it, there is this “not-so-subtle suggestion… that women need to be reminded to care for themselves because, after all, they are so busy taking care of everyone else” (1). To be honest, I was pleasantly surprised that my friend mentioned it to me and could hear that he was happy to be doing things for himself.

My question to you is what does self-care mean to you?

In asking this, I want you to think about the things you do for yourself. I know, on social media it might seem like self-care is a certain way: the colorful fruit detoxes and the nice body massages and the aesthetic trips to the beach. It’s no wonder that self-care has become an $11 billion industry (2).

In modern-day society, the image of self-care has become Instagrammable and mainstream, with millions of posts getting a #self-care tagged onto the bottom of it (3). This unfortunately invokes a feeling of indulgence  that you can spend money and use external stimuli to gain peace. But, that doesn’t quite feel right.

What Works for Your Friend Might Not Work For You

“Self-care: care for oneself” – Merriam-Webster Dictionary.

The definition for the word is very straightforward, so there’s no point in complicating what it means. Quite simply, it is something you do in order to relax, to de-stress, and to get in tune with yourself. You have to ask yourself, what can I do for myself? The answer to this doesn’t have to be the same as what others say; everyone is different.

For example, look at the dog at the top of this blog. I look at that and smile, throw in a few giggles, because that looks like peace to me. Although I like to be up and about, sometimes a good rest is what I really want to be doing. But, other people could look at this picture and respond differently – they might not even like dogs. Self-care should be something that makes you feel good and calm, and that you can maybe do every day or every week.

It doesn’t have to look pretty or be exciting. It just has to be about you.

Incorporating self-care into your life should not feel like a chore or another thing to cross off your to-do list. If the to-do list you use to organize your life is making you feel rushed, try eliminating things from the list. If meditation makes you feel even more inside your head, then exploring other mindfulness techniques may help.

As much as stress and anxiety are an unavoidable part of life, you also deserve to have some calmness. For people who have mental health issues that get in the way of this search for peace, that lavender-scented body lotion might not help you but maybe that full-body massage will.

What works for others might not work for you, and what works for you might not work for others. Understand what triggers you have and work with them. You might just surprise yourself.

Here are some ideas to get you started:

  • Drink plenty of water throughout the day
  • Regularly get a good night’s sleep
  • Go on a daily walk
  • Call a good friend of yours
  • Read one of your favorite books or magazines
  • Watch that Netflix show that you’ve been wanting to see
  • Eat a balanced diet and take your supplements
  • Listen to music that you enjoy
  • Talk with a therapist or other health professional
  • Learn how to say “no” more often

Go ahead and try some of these out! You might find that some work really well for you. Feel free to leave a comment or send us a message about what things you do to practice self-care.






1. Forman, Tami. “Self-Care Is Not An Indulgence. It’s A Discipline.” Path Forward, 11 April 2019. https://www.pathforward.org/self-care-is-not-an-indulgence-its-a-discipline/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI6_mr25SF4wIVBNNkCh3FdQF0EAAYASAAEgJHq_D_BwE

2. Lieberman, Charlotte. “How Self-Care Became So Much Work.” Harvard Business Review, 10 Aug 2018. https://hbr.org/2018/08/how-self-care-became-so-much-work

3. Love, Shayla. “The Dark Truths Behind Our Obsession With Self-Care.” Vice, 11 Dec 2018. https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/zmdwm4/the-young-and-the-uncared-for-v25n4



The contents provided on our website are intended for informational and educational purposes only. Nothing found on our website is intended to be a substitute for professional psychological, psychiatric or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. You should always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified healthcare provider, if you have any questions about a medical condition or mental disorder. You should never disregard professional medical advice or delay seeking such advice only because of something you have read on or accessed through our website.

If you are in a crisis or have a medical emergency, call your doctor or 911 right away! If you are having suicidal thoughts, talk to a trained counselor at a crisis center in your area, by calling the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-TALK [8255]).

We are neither responsible nor liable for any advice, treatment course, diagnosis, or any other information, products or services you may obtain through our website. Reliance on any information appearing on our website is solely at your own risk.



Leave a comment

Please note, comments must be approved before they are published